Slim Chances

As you may or may not know, I’m applying through CIEE, which has the largest number of applicants every year… Roughly 600. And as you also may or may not know, they only choose  roughly 100 (give or take a few) people as a semi-finalist to be interviewed. At first I was fairly confident in my chances, rarely doubting that I wouldn’t be selected as a semi-finalist. But now I’m starting to feel rather negative. Maybe I’m realizing how slim my chances really are, and stepping out of that day dreamy world. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m still 100% confident in my application and I wouldn’t change a thing; but I’m starting to recognize how good the other applicants are as well, all 600 of them. I only have an 8% chance of being selected, and that’s hard to accept because I’ve had my hopes up so high for such a long time.
And maybe it’s a good thing that my hopes have gone down a lot, so that if I got selected it’d be more of a pleasant surprise rather than a large disappointment and let down. At this point, all I can do is pray to God that the judges see my potential in being an ambassador for CBYX, and put my trust in Him that this is all in His plan.

12 More Days until I’m (hopefully) a Semi-Finalist

In 12 more days (289 hours, 17357 minutes, and 1041430 seconds specifically), I will find out if I am a semi-finalist for Congress Bundestag Youth Exchange, and (hopefully) go on to have an interview and become a Finalist! The end of December and beginning of January were very painful because I had just submitted my application, it was Christmas break, and I had nothing to do so I was just staring at the clock waiting for February 1st to arrive. Then school started back and finally got some of my mind off of CBYX, although I do still catch myself in the middle of class daydreaming about possibly spending my Junior year abroad in Germany. But now that it’s the end of the month and almost time, I feel like it’s going to go slower than ever. I hope school keeps me busy.
I’m at that point in waiting when you’ve been waiting for what seems like so long and you’re just anxious and nervous and your stomach is full of butterflies and you’re just tapping your foot and glancing at your watch constantly. I don’t want to say I’m getting impatient, because I’m not (yet). It’s just a constant need of wanting and having to know my semi-finalist status. I want this SO bad.
Although finding out that I am a semi-finalist will give my mind some peace, I think the wait to finding out if you’re a finalist is much worse (and longer). I’ll cross that bridge when I get there, I tend to look ahead too much at times.
Well I hope everyone else’s 12 days go by faster than mine, and have a wonderful Martin Luther King day!

January is starting to pick up!

I have been dreading this month, as it has been seemingly going by very agonizingly slow for me. Why? Because on the 31st of January (or the 1st of February) I find out if I am a semi-finalist for CBYX. 24 more days from now. In the scheme of things, it doesn’t seem like a long time. But when you’re waiting for something like this it seems like a whole lifetime. Maybe I am contributing to the slowness of this month. I have, after all, been keeping a countdown on my phone and calender (not a good idea because it makes you realize how much longer you have to wait). Maybe it’s because of Christmas break. I’ve been out for almost 3 weeks now and have been suffering from a painful, depressing, illness: Cabin Fever. I’ve spent this past weekend with some friends and family so the days have been speeding by a bit for me (finally!) and school starts tomorrow (yes!), which means I’ll be too busy to stare at a calender all day. January is FINALLY picking up for me. Well, for now it is. I’m starting a new semester at school which means new classes, but I’m worried I’ll start to get bored with them around the middle of this month. World History and Geometry don’t exactly excite me. Normally when I get bored in class I daydream about my (hopefully) future year in Germany, which doesn’t help with making this month go by faster. The old saying really is right… If you don’t think about it, it will go by quicker! The problem is not thinking about it.
*sigh* I’ll inform you all when I figure out how to make time go by faster.

How I feel about my application

So begins the process of waiting. 
Though I can’t really tell you anything that will get your mind off of the program while waiting, one thing that will give your mind some peace is being contempt with your application.
I think it’s very important that you not regret anything about your application, or wish you could have changed something. Many people will tell you to not look back at your application once you’ve submitted it, but I think it’s perfectly okay to do so. In fact, it may even make you feel better. I’m very happy with my application and wouldn’t change a thing about it. I believe that I’ve represented myself exactly how I want to, and when I get doubtful, looking back at my application makes me realize that I did the best of my ability at completing it, and it makes me think that I do have higher chances. Confidence is key.
Though I think that the application itself isn’t very complicated, I do have one complaint. I wish there was some type of “comments” section or otherwise where you could sort of say anything you want. Like: how you feel about the scholarship, how much you want to go, how much this means to you; or even, how this isn’t entirely such a big deal to you and that you’d be just as contempt staying in the U.S as you would in Germany. 
Given that they do not have this option yet, I decided to pay a call Hillary and Juliette (two gals over the CBYX program for my region). I did have a few questions for them regarding the scholarship, when semi-finalist will be announced, and etc. But I also explained to them about how much I want this scholarship and how passionate I really am about going Germany, and that without this scholarship, I wouldn’t be able to study abroad and I really hope that they look into my application. I also thanked them for even having this scholarship, because without it, so many deserving people wouldn’t even be able to study.
I think it helped with my application. It showed that I had a lot of interest in the program and it makes them look at my application closer. All in all, I’m very happy with my application and phone calls, and now all I can do is hope, pray, and wait.

The Waiting Game

In exactly one month, I will find out if I am a semi-finalist for Congress Bundestag Youth Exchange. It doesn’t seem like a long time, does it? One month. 31 days. Well, when you’re waiting to find out if the next year of your life will possible be spent halfway across the world, it seems like an eternity.
I don’t know if I should be sort of “forgetting” about it for now, so it will be off of my mind for a while, and in return making time go by a little bit faster; or, constantly hoping and praying that I make it, which will make time go by even slower. Anxiety is one of the worst feelings anyone can get, especially when it’s for a whole month. Another problem I’ve been trying to overcome is not getting my hopes up too high. As of now, if I don’t get selected, I will be absolutely crushed. That is NOT the attitude I need to have. I need to get in the mind set that, although I’ll be upset if I don’t receive the scholarship, it will be okay anyway. Hoping for the best but expecting the worst. Because right now, I’m so passionate about this and wanting to go, that I will definitely be depressed for some while if I am rejected.
I’m sort of ready for school to start back. Then maybe I can focus on other things for now.